Wesson the Boy
Stay out!

Wesson: How do you spell your real name again? *draws a circle*
Me: L-O-R-I
Wesson: *writes it in the circle* There! Now to draw a line through it. You aren’t allowed in the chalk area.

A discussion

Me: Mommy and Daddy don’t pee in their pants. Wesson doesn’t pee in his pants. Do you think it’s good for you to do it?

Mara: *calm down hands* It’s ok, it’s ok. Sombodies do. Mara does.

Don’t bite

Me: Mara, your sandals are on the wrong feet.
Mara: *calm down hand gestures* Ok, ok. Don’t bite your friends.

Land ho

Wesson: Lego Land is my favorite kind of land.
Me: Is there any land you don’t like?
Wesson: I don’t hate any land… Except chicken butt land. That would be one I wouldn’t like.

Toshiba is Wessonese

Me: Maybe we should turn off the tv.
Wesson: No it says ‘Do not turn the tv off when kids are watching.’
Me: Where does it say that?
Wesson: Here *points*
Me: That says Toshiba.

Bird dirt

Me: Mara did you eat dirt?
Mara: No.
Me: Then why is your face all dirty?
Mara: *pause* Birds eat dirt.
Me: But you aren’t a bird.
Mara: BOCK! BOCK! *flaps arms*

"I love children’s drinking games. I always win!" - Justin, the husband

Crap Drawer has a new meaning

Mara: “Mama i’m poopin in the potty!”

Pride turned to sheer horror as I turned around and realized that she was in the livingroom… sitting in a drawer.

*POKE*

It was so sweet earlier when Mara grabbed her blanket, curled up in my lap, looked up at me with a smile and said “can I poke you eye?”

More proof that you can’t mix two weirdos and expect to get somebody normal.

Elf on the Shelf

Me: Wesson, should we get Santa to send us a special elf to watch and make sure we’re being good?
Wesson: No, we shan’t.