Wesson the Boy
One of these days

Mara: Don’t go to the basement while i’m sleeping.

Me: I’m the mom though, i’m an adult, i’m allowed to go to the basement when you are sleeping. I could go to the moon while you are sleeping, I don’t need permission, i’m grown.

Wesson: You can’t go to the moon! Someone has to stay home with us! *pause* You can only go when Daddy is home.

Me: Nope. If I want to go to the moon, I will, whether Daddy is home or not.

Wesson: Well… If I hear a rocket blasting off while i’m sleeping, I’m going to wake up and get in my rocket and catch you and tow your rocket home!!! You CAN’T leave us here when you go to the MOON!!!

Mara: I’m just gonna rub this on the chair.
Me: What is it?
Mara: Cheese.
Me: No! Do not rub cheese on the chair!
Mara: Fine! I’ll just rub it on the table.
Me: No, that’s gross too!
Mara: Ugh! Fine. I’ll rub it on my placemat. *pause* Now it’s nasty. I’m not eating it.

Wesson: Don’t do what mommy says. She can’t be trusted.
Justin: Why can’t I trust mommy?
Wesson: She sometimes does things she’s not supposed to
Justin: Hmm… like what?
Wesson: Eggs. Sometimes she mashes 3 eggs and leaves one out (egg salad)
Justin: How dare her!!!

Me: What’s your phone number?
Mara: Yellow.

Wesson: Does the police station have a bat signal?
Justin: No, they have a Dad signal!

Zing!

"Did you know that the Boogeyman checks his closet for Daddy before he goes to bed?" - Wesson

Mara picked a zucchini from the yard this morning and has been carrying it around, calling it her kid.

Mara: I made a bed for my kid.
Me: Are we going to eat it later?
Mara: Yeah, after it falls asleep.

"Can I see the picture you just got? That’s me, Spider Elsa." - Mara

"Can I see the picture you just got? That’s me, Spider Elsa." - Mara

Me: Are you ready for bed?
Mara: Hang on, I forgot to tell Daddy something. *finds Daddy* TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!

Mara: We don’t eat dirt, Mommy, remember? We only eat food and snow. But not yellow snow.